Beautiful Black Rose
by Rouvas7x7
Summary: For her entire life, Akiza was a pariah, an outcast, and a deviant who was abandoned by her neglectful parents and left to fend for herself in life. After meeting Jack, Yusei, Crow, and Luna, she finally gains the thing she lacked all along - friends. This leads to her questioning her self-loathing, feeling that she is ready to finally love herself and move forward with confidence.


Akiza walked down the vacant sidewalk as night was settling upon the city of New Domino. Occasional vehicles passing by would momentarily catch her eye and make her recall that only a few weeks prior, she would have wanted one of them to hit her and abruptly terminate her life. Her entire life was problematic in the most simple sense. Never did she have a day when she felt as if everything was truly alright. Her parent's disapproval, her lack of friends, and her own issues with her psychic powers brought about a deathwish which seemed to rage within her heart for so many years. It was without doubt, detrimental to her sanity and self-esteem in every possible way. It led to her isolation from the world and provoked a fierce cynicism within her, making her abandon all that she knew of self-respect and her capacity for amiable relationships with others. As she walked down the street with the crescent moon high overhead, a fire had sparked within her.

"I'm not a victim of a victim's life," she whispered to herself as she continued walking down the street, coming to a curb.

On the other side of the street was a biker gang which seemed to have taken notice of her presence for they were staring at her and making sexual-esque noises. One of the men, blonde, tall and muscular with rather broad shoulders, and clothed in what looked like black jeans and a leather jacket particularly caught Akiza's eye and how he disgusted her.

"Pretty ladies like her shouldn't be walkin' down the street alone at night. Someone might try to rape 'em," said the man in a rather loud tone of voice while his buddies started laughing.

"Creeps... Don't patronize me," whispered Akiza to herself, ignoring the continued harrassment of the men.

About ten minutes or so later, she came to the boardwalk and she could see the city's reflection on the tranquil water before her. She gazed out at the ocean and recalled her former suicidal feelings, reminiscing of the countless incidents in which she was humiliated, demeaned, scarred, and traumatized. Those incidents were in the past and she continued to tell herself that rather sententiously. she recalled her neglectful parents and their lack of a capacity to understand her. Although initially, thye were not abusive, with time they grew bothered and disgusted with Akiza's psychic issues. She recalled the one final incident that led to them disowning her. It was the only time they ever truly physically abused her, but after uears of their neglect and emotional abuse, Akiza was left feeling hopeless. The incident flashed through her mind, almost making a tear fall from her eye.

"Akiza, you no-good, devil child!" shouted Mr. Izinski as he brutally shoved a fourteen-year old Akiza against the wall, causing her to collapse upon the floor. "Your mother should have aborted you! If we knew you'd turn out this way, than she would have!"

Akiza, sobbing, folded her hands before her and looked up to her father's less-than-satisfied facial expression. Her breathing was heavy as she tried her best to find the correct words to say in this most unfortunate of circumstances.

"Daddy," cried Akiza. "I'm sorry that I'm this way, but I can't help it. It's not something I can control. I didn't choose it - it chose me."

"Enough!" shouted Mr. Izinski as he knocked his daughter to the floor once again. "You're no daughter of mine, you freak!"

"Mom!" shrieked Akiza as she glanced over to her mother, whom was standing in the corner of the room with her arms folded across her chest. Her face bore a stern and angry-looking expression, similar to that of her father's.

Looking back to her father, Akiza swallowed heavily and became silent as she awaited for her father to continue his streak of abuse upon her.

"You disgusting freak, I'm so ashamed just to take you out in public. You always embarrass us somehow. Psychic powers my ass!" yelled Mr. Izinski as he again raised his hand above his daughter. She closed her eyes...

Akiza could not bare to continue reminiscing about that particular event any longer and so the flashback ended. Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes and parsimoniously, she began to think of her newly acquired "friends," as she recently started referring to them as. She distanced from her mind all thoughts of her abusive parents.

"In recent weeks, these people I've met... Yusei, Crow, Luna, Jack... they accept me for what I am. Sayer used me all those years and he exploited me and my parents... well, they're a story all their own, but these people... I feel that they are truly genuine," began Akiza to herself.

She lifted up her sleeve and looked down at the self-inflicted scars, which were symbols for all her struggle and all her trauma throughout her life. Now, she could only think of her regret for making those scars in the first place. What good did they do for her? Nothing.

"These scars will always remind me of my tumultuous past, but that doesn't mean that I have to continue to be miserable. My friends love me and they're the first ones to ever really do that. Because they love me, maybe it's time that I start loving myself."

The past few days, all the trauma she experienced within her life seemed to distance itself from her conscious thoughts, being replaced by a more positive and faithful outlook on life which is something she previously never thought she would have. She recalled the other day when she was at Leo and Luna's penthouse, leaning against the balcony overlooking the city. Luna was beside her and they engaged in a coversation which seemed to be purely casual at first, but it gradually transitined into an in-depth and introspective conversation with both participants confessing instrinsic details of their own respective lives.

"Akiza, I can tell you're really hard on yourself," began Luna. "I don't think you realize how awesome you really are. From what you've told me, I can tell that you've been through so much and that you've really had a rough time in life. You've survived all that pain and heartache all those years and here we are now, discussing it. It's about time you smile and start loving yourself."

"I don't know if I'm ready to do that," confessed Akiza, looking downward.

"Sure you can. It might seem scary now - to love yourself, but once you let go of that fear and start focusing on the positive things about yourself, amazing things can happen," smiled Luna.

"Maybe you're right..."

"I am right," said Luna. "Akiza, you're beautiful and it's time you start telling yourself that, right now."

"I am beautiful," said Akiza in a somwhat muffled voice. Never did she think that those words would escape her mouth.

"Doesn't that feel nice to finally admit it?" asked Luna.

"Yeah, it does," confessed Akiza, finally allowing positive energy to enter her mind.

"Now say it again," requested Luna.

"I am beautiful," said Akiza much more adamantly this time.

Akiza recalled that cathartic conversation she had with her friend, Luna, just a few days prior and how wonderful about herself she felt after so many years of self-loathing. The ocean breeze blew through her gorgeous red hair as she stood upon the planks of the boardwalk with her arms at her side, feeling confidence in herself. It was at this moment that she finally let go of all the darkness within her, releasing it into the world and relieving herself of its heavy burden.

"I can finally breathe again," whispered Akiza to herself.

She knew that the past was behind her and no matter how much she loathed it, she could not change it. All she could do was look to the future with confidence.

"It's time that I start living and put my past behind me... What's the point of crying over things I can't change? My past may have sucked, but that doesn't mean that my future has to," said Akiza to herself.

For the first time in what seemed like so long, Akiza actually smiled and it was not shallow, but it was ardent. This smile, peculiar as it may seem for someone like her, represented her recent change of mental state. Finally, thanks to the inspiration from her friends, she felt that she was able to deny the feelings of despair and pessimism that tainted her mind for so long. She stood with her arms across her chest, gazing out at the ocean and knowing that as deviant as she was, she had her dignity, her hope, and lastly, her bonds with her friends and those would be the things that would keep her alive.

"It's time I look to the future and set my goals. I've got a life to live."


End file.
